- "Studying to be a personal trainer" = unemployed
- "Real estate investor" = house flipper
- "Ready to settle down" = sick
- "Not a player" = a player
- "Seeking soulmate" = a player with 2 years of college
- "My kids come first" = "Warm body wanted"
- "shoulder surgery" = obese
- Photo with pet = emotionally warped or unavailable
- Photo taken years ago = low self-esteem
- No photograph posted = obese or married
- Photo of torso, no head = has STD
- Photo with cleavage = stupid
- Photograph with parents/siblings = immature
- "Likes to laugh" = evil
- "Free spirit" = unkempt
- "Christian" = boring
- Christmas or formal-wear photograph = male: grubby; female: "Marry me"
- "handsome" = incarcerated
- "spiritual" = broke
- Photo with opposite sex person who is cropped out of the picture = co-dependent
- "Likes quiet times" = couch potato
- "relaxed lifestyle" = disabled or obese
- "to hang out with" = "to provide me with casual sex"
- "lonely" = mental patient
- "sensitive" = alcoholic or dry drunk
- "shy" = asocial
- "seeks special lady" = sordid marital history
- "seeks fun gal" = old or impotent
- "age 54" = age 64
- "No games" = games
- "open-minded" = perverted
- "Romantic" = one dinner before expecting sex
- "Very romantic" = two dinners before expecting sex
Online dating profiles consist of self-selected photos and self-descriptions. They typically use many default or "pat" phrases. Reading between the lines, just for fun, we can decode:
Catherine Rankovic
Writer, with 30+ years' writing and publishing experience, 20+ years' teaching experience. Last book read: Mrs. Lincoln by Catherine Clinton.
Latest from Catherine Rankovic
2 comments
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Tuesday, 24 May 2011 11:21
posted by Julia Gordon-Bramer
This is the funniest thing I've read in so long, because it's entirely accurate. So says the girl photographed with her cat!
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Wednesday, 04 May 2011 10:08
posted by Lisa
Hilarious... and so true. Unfortunately when I "decode" my profile descriptions and compare it with my personality it's pretty accurate.
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